Nobody

I am nobody in this country.

But soon I will be a number, like my friends and family–
One of the 20,000,000 infected
One of the 5,000,000 hospitalised
One of the 1,000,000 dead.
Just like every fallen petal in spring,
I am so many and yet I am nobody.

I am an artist and an engineer
I am a parent and a lover
I am wealthy and I am not
I am privileged and I am not
Just like every woman,
I am all of these
And yet I am nobody.

Gasping for breath, with and without Covid
Bodies aching, with and without Covid
No sleep, with and without Covid
Scared to death, with and without Covid
Just like you,
I am everybody and yet I am nobody.

I pray for you, for that is all I can
I weep for you, for that is all I can
I hope for you, for that is all I can
I wear a mask for you, for that is all I can.

But when it is time, my friend, I am choiceless
When it is time, it’s you versus I
When it is time, it’s yours versus mine
But please remember, and I will too
To fight with all you have for your life
Until only one of us wins and both of us lose.

And India wakes up to nobody dead.

Aishwarya Pothula is a young development professional from New Delhi playing the constant game of learning and unlearning, but mostly unlearning.