I Live

I live
Maybe, maybe not.
With self esteem plunged
And an unending hunger triumphing

I live
With stretch marks, acne
And belly fat eternal
A societal conditioning printed in my head, unerased, forever
Trying to accept all of me
Seen and unseen

I live
With stress producing itself and multiplying
With mental health constantly deteriorating
Emotional health being emotional hell;
Inhaling and exhaling all my cries

I live
Knowing things, more and more with time
Helpless at times many, knowing them all

I live
With an urge to end this chaotic existence
And the little fear of not wanting existence to end
I live..

Shreyaa Tandel is a self established poet. She is a regular contributor at the magazine, Marias at Sampaguitas, poetry editor at Dream Noir magazine and poetry reader at ayaskala magazine. When she isn’t writing or is glued in front of a computer/cell phone screen, she spends time singing/listening north indian classical music, watching all genres of films/tv shows, reading the bhagvad gita and pretending too hard to be happy, even though she truly isn’t.