A Quiet Desire To Hold Hands

Before I knew it,
All parts of me were claimed.
Silently auctioned–
I sensed it.

In a fever dream,
Buried under thick blankets
With the heat from the sweat
I felt new folds and crevices of my body.

Some parts fetched a fair price
I was told
Other nameless parts oscillated
Between priceless and worthless.

These were supposed to be mine
Practiced under a watchful gaze
Witnessed by no one
Selectively loved.

I gathered the crumbs that remained
And those still falling out
Some I left in special places
Others I tightly clutched in sweaty palms.

I was never whole
Never perfect
I just wanted to hold hands
If I could just get my sweaty palm open.

Lakshita Malik (she/her) is a doctoral candidate at the University of Illinois, Chicago. You can find her on Instagram @shuffle_snek and Twitter @Lakshit59976109

Featured image: meriç tuna/Unsplash