Unlike its traditional notion of colourful and festive interactions, Holi in Delhi is synonymous with hostility if you are a woman. The outdoors transform into a battlefield. Boys, sometimes as young as 12, hit you with balloons without your consent with the maximum force possible.
It does not matter whether you are a young girl in your twenties or approaching menopause – if you are a woman, you are a target. And for women like me, who travel to the office every day, it is hard to avoid the onslaught on the days leading up to Holi. We can either lock ourselves at home for several days or bear the brunt of vile behaviour and hooliganism if we dare step out. The worst aspect of it all is the older men shielding and justifying the acts of young boys and men with the ever-annoying line, ‘Bura na mano, Holi hai’.
The first time something like this happened to me was in 2019. Since then, it has become an annual ritual.
Last year, I was hit so hard by a balloon that I had bruises all over my back. The pain was excruciating, and the action left me in shock. Since I had seen which balcony the balloon had originated from, I started shouting in pain and anger at the two teenage boys gawking at me.
To my astonishment, their father stepped out. He first denied they had thrown the balloon, and then began defending the boys. He finally dropped the oft-repeated line used to excuse horrible actions on Holi. The heated exchange went on for a while, after which I decided to call the police. Unsurprisingly, they called it a trivial matter and begrudgingly sent a havaldar. However, no action was taken.
I got back home in tears and didn’t step out for a week.
Right after the incident occurred, I wanted to write about my ordeal. But somehow, I felt the story may be insignificant due to years of social conditioning.
But that was until yesterday.
While I was making my way home from the office, I was hit by one balloon after another. This time too, the father of the boy came out in his support. The boy’s mother and other family elders gazed at the scene unfolding without batting an eyelid.
Ironically, I am a lawyer and work with the apex law-making institution – the parliament. While I put in hours and days to do my best towards making sure that rights are protected, I have miserably failed to protect my own body and dignity. It disgusts me to think that my body is public property open for men to attack and that I cannot do anything about it because for everyone else it is all part of the festive spirit!
Also read: ‘Was Relieved It Wasn’t Urine, Acid or Semen’: DU Students on Harassment During Holi
In a study conducted in 1996 by Delhi University’s Gender Study Group documenting instances of sexual harassment and assault, it was ascertained that 60.5% of women reported increased instances of bodily harm, sexual and otherwise, on days leading to Holi. At times, balloons are filled with substances such as dirt, eggs, harmful colours etc.
But over recent years, complaints of men pelting semen-filled balloons started surfacing. In 2018, many Delhi University students took to social media platforms to describe many sickening experiences. A protest took place, where students demanded better security measures for women around Holi.
Being the daughter of an army officer, I have travelled the length and breadth of the country fearlessly. But Holi in the capital scares me. Many women do not step out of their homes for days for the fear of being attacked. Though the government has put forth many measures, they have not entirely been successful in making women feel safer around Holi.
This is not normal. This is not ‘fun’. This is not community spirit. It is not okay to hit someone – it is equivalent to physical assault otherwise punishable under Sections 350 and 351 of the Indian Penal Code.
Beyond the legality, it is about the agency that we lose every time we get hit by a balloon. It makes us question the society we live in and the conditioning we receive from our elders. Along with the government’s failure, our elders are equally responsible.
What we need is to sensitise everyone – right from the family to the school level and enforcement authorities – about consent, assault and agency. Normalising abuse in the name of a festival is unacceptable.
Geeta Kanwar is a law and policy professional working as Senior Analyst with the office of Member of Parliament.
Featured image: Unsplash