Fluctuating Dreams

I am a series of fluctuating dreams
My passion changes
with every show I binge
With every movie
my life takes a different turn
In that moment I feel one
with the life I see on screen.

I am a series of fluctuating dreams
I skate on the ice rink
when I’m not batting for India
I write songs for my album
when I’m not writing papers that change
the way people think
I want it and the next minute I don’t.

I am a series of fluctuating dreams
And I don’t work enough towards
either of them
Because I want to be the best at
all of them
And I know I can’t
so I don’t try
Instead, they rest in my imagination
In my mind, where they dance together
I choreograph them and they listen.

I am a series of fluctuating dreams
Because I’ve been taught to choose one
and I can’t
Am I foolish to not be obsessed
with one subject, one life goal or one hobby
Or am I obsessed with trying not to be foolish
and choose one, when I can’t.

I am a series of fluctuating dreams
I am not obsessed enough with anything
Sometimes it feels enough, but sometimes
It makes me envy, not others, but myself
What I could be with my potential unleashed
towards one ambition
What I am, lazy and worried,
leaving my fluctuating dreams
inside my imagination.

I could be a series of dynamic dreams
I could be an actor
I could play the characters life has to offer
and yet, I never have to stick to one.

I choose to be a series of dynamic dreams
I choose to be an actor
Not the kind that acts to earn fame or money
Not the kind that runs after the ‘industry’
I choose to be an actor that obsesses
over a series of dynamic dreams.

Devi Dang is a final-year student of literary and cultural studies and theatre. She is a young artist navigating her experiences through her poetry.

Featured image credit: Pariplab Chakraborty