I’m giving up on you,
I’ve had enough. I’m tired.
Not because I’ve lost faith,
I, luckily, have that in plenty.
But this recurring trial
of immense hope and plunging despair
Is wreaking havoc,
Crushing my soul and destroying my sanity.
In my twenties, I dreaded the horrible red visitor
Cause every month, came along with it pain, blood and tears.
In my thirties, I still dread the horrible red visitor
Cause every month, comes along with it waves of guilt and melancholy.
Because I overlooked the pain
Because I assumed I was supposed to suck it up.
If only I’d realised the pain was a disease
A disease called endometriosis
Maybe I wouldn’t be here now
Overthinking every delayed period.
Anticipating ‘good news’
Hopelessly staring at the pee stick every month.
Putting myself through his recurring trial
of immense hope and plunging despair.
Romi Rajendran was diagnosed with endometriosis recently and underwent a laparoscopy surgery for the same.
Featured image (editing): Ujjaini Dutta