Is it four walls, three hearts, and all the love that no one has ever given you?
But is filled with a past you don’t want to go back to?
Is it going back to that room that you decorated with all your might – with glistening warm yellow lights and scent of vanilla in the air.
But with white cushions that have stains of old trauma?
Is it going back to that city, the one you loved, the one you grew up in, the one you stumbled upon every time you felt unsafe?
But the one with no one left to care for and where nothing is the same anymore?
Is it that one call to your best friend, where you laugh at the silly joys in the world and cry at all the stupid boys in your hearts?
But is the one that has forgotten to message you for 21 days and counting?
Or
Is it those two arms that have made you feel safe for the last six months, the one that holds your hand even though it is dripping with anxiety, the one that creates laughter out of thin air only to make you feel 0.5% better?
But the one who finds happiness elsewhere, whose laugh echoes everywhere else but with you?
I guess home is just you and your heart. Packed into a tiny corner all by yourself – because at the end of the day, you are the only one who comes back to you.
Anisha Reddy is a trainee journalist at the Indian Institute of Journalism and New Media, Bangalore.
Featured image: Roma Kaiuk/Unsplash