I sit here in my room tonight,
Not touched by the earthquake,
Not displaced by the flood.
Not killed by a bullet,
Or blown up by a bomb.
As I am still breathing tonight,
As I am still alive at this very moment–
Let me write a poem.
Let me write because,
I never really have written a poem before.
Let me write because,
I don’t feel numb anymore!
I don’t feel sad anymore!
My whole body is shaking like a bomb about to blast.
Today it’s not shaking because
Of another nervous breakdown–
But because my body is filled with anger.
Let me write because I have to take responsibility
Of the words that I have learnt.
Words like ‘Oppression’, ‘Oppressor’, ‘Fight’, ‘Justice’.
I can’t leave them alone and not use them in a poem.
Let me write to hide my sins and guilt.
I want to romanticise the moon tonight.
And think about all the times I cried because of love.
Not about of how many lovers got killed
In bomb blasts in Palestine.
Not about how the kids didn’t return home from the playground
Because they had bullets in their hearts.
I want to write about Lilly, Daisy and Sunflower
Not about people who weren’t supposed to bleed but they did.
I want to write about the new born baby of a big film star
Not about the girl child who couldn’t live,
Because she was just a girl.
I want to write about the stars, trees, rivers
And the darkness inside my room–
Not about the darkness my privilege
Spread over the lives of others.
I want to write about love
Not about how it is prohibited.
I want to write about being human.
Not about how some of them doesn’t have the right to live.
Because of their religion, caste, class,
sexuality, race etc. etc. etc.
I want to write about the world–
Not yet dead but not so alive.
I want to write about real issues,
Because my inspirations taught me to select ‘real issues’.
I want to write about how I am searching for home
Where so many people are finding a place to hide.
I don’t want to write about them,
I want to write about me.
I always did, do and will!
Because I tell myself every morning that
I already have enough negativity in my life.
I shouldn’t get bothered by other’s problems
Until it hurts me.
I want to write because I stopped getting inspired.
I can’t trust my inspirations.
My inspirations failed me.
So I failed myself.
I want to write because I have the privilege to write.
Let me write,
Let me write a poem for my last exam.
Let me see and write a poem for my last examiner.
Let me hear and write a poem for my last exam.
Let me feel and write a poem for my last examiner.
So that when I get asked,
“What did you do after getting the privilege to write?”
I can answer, “I wrote a poem about us.”
Pratyan Chakraborty is a 16-year-old school student and budding poet. He has been featured on Gaysifamily, Skryf and other poetry platforms, and does a podcast on Spotify called ‘The Screaming Ink Show With Pratyan’. You can find him on Instagram @pratyan_x
Featured image credit: Pariplab Chakraborty