Burden of Dreams

Just a moment,
Only a moment please
My one last glimpse of strength, of romance…
of brilliance, of vivacity
of glamour, of youth.
A flick of sunshine upon the distant shore.
Time to remember,
time for a sigh
before I say a final goodbye.
Goodbye Youth
I will think of you with pleasure
with affection
with regret
As I would of someone who I once loved,
And who is now dead.

Now, let me plunge ahead
Forget my gray hair,
my weary eyes
my face lined, wrinkled
marked by deception
by success
by love, longing, loss,
always looking somewhere
for something that is not…
for something gone, crashed
In a sigh, in a flash!
Forget the cragginess of my once-silken skin
forget all those escapades of youth
all those trips of pleasure and sin
Do ignore my creaky bones,
I am just entering a new zone…
A place where I can curl up my feet,
sitting, reflecting
paralleling the past with the present,
putting to order somewhat the chaos of life.
Goodbye Youth
goodbye to volatility,
to that run in futility.

I will miss the romance of illusions though
The feeling that will never be the same somehow,
that deceitful feeling that lured us on to joys, perils
to love and vain effort,
the heat of life in a handful of dust.
I can already feel the glow in my heart growing dim
growing cold
growing small
The nights are dull, the days duller
Much is gone, little abides
But wait, there is the bright side…..
At last there is freedom in sight
At last I am past the test and trial of life, inherent, incessant
Past ceaseless endeavours
Past all boulders
Released from the expectation of negotiating the impossible ‘Burden of Dreams’.

Sangeeta Kampani, 62, worked with the IRS and retired as a Commissioner of Income Tax, Delhi.

Featured image: Jr Korpa/Unsplash