Hesitant Words

These days
my pen is so heavy
it hardly crawls on the page
dragging a chain of hesitant words,
trying to give meaning to what is not.
These days
so much of me is submerged in this act of living,
making money,
raising a family,
having meaningless conversations with strangers
or simply sitting on the grass
vacant of mind.
These days I only sit and wonder,
where is the fire that burnt me once
where are the words that once danced on my lips
ready to slither and slide out
And paint themselves in myriad moods.
And these days
I sit weary beyond expression
silent like death
dark like a grave
remembering my youth
missing those words
that once came ever so naturally
to tell my most honest truth.

Sangeeta Kampani, 63, was formerly with the IRS and retired as Commissioner of Income Tax, Delhi.

Featured image: Randy Tarampi / Unsplash