Phase of Fear

Erasing more than writing,
Maybe this is how you spot an aching person.

Too desperate to get validation
from anywhere, from nowhere,
seeking to avoid mistakes,
committing them with shaky hands,
accusing the self of crime,
restricting the self from trying,
closing eyes in the sun
and hoping for a silent night.

Of course no one else doubts
Of course no one is watching
But oh, the mirror – the evil contrivance–
Never fails to drown one in one’s sinking-self
And to gather the hope
To raise the hand for someone to hold
To consider oneself worthy of that,
Not everyone has the strength to pull it off.

And still you see
Everyone is breathing–
A reason good enough to get past this obstruction of thoughts
before getting too much out of it.
But I don’t how to end
For I don’t have the perfect lines to conclude
And so I fear – commitment to paper was certainly wrong–
Now, the mirror would be put to use.

Anushka Pareek is a keen observer and an opinionated person who is currently pursuing history at the University of Delhi.

Featured image: ammar sabaa/Unsplash