Tell Me if I Ever Made Sense

Tell me if this makes sense:
The fact that I find comfort in my tears, and all my fears,
Or prefer a red nose and dark eyes over liners and concealers,
Not choosing to hop on the merry-go-rounds in my many rooms of cheers.
Tell me if I make sense to you because I don’t anymore to my peers.

Tell me if my clothes seem alright
When I cross my arms and legs during our conversations
Or when he’s thinking of the other girls in far-off stations,
Oh and when my friends click pictures while I simply resist the temptation
Tell me if my clothes seem alright then, or if you think it’s time I adopt fashion.

Tell me at least if I look normal
When I leave the group in search of a clearing
Perhaps to sit by myself, longing to find my bearings,
Or when I stare at you instead of the only skies I now see: my dear ceilings;
Tell me if I look normal, tell me now, I’m finally hearing.

Tell me at last if my language is okay,
In that class where the ideas are too many, and not just for me and you
And in the daylight of these short days that are silent for moments just a few
Or when I’m trying to tell you what I want to ask you,
In wait for your answers, feeling my lashes under the heavy dew,
tell me if my language is correct, or if it’s time for me to start anew.

Aditi Jain is a second-year undergraduate student of English Literature at IPCW, DU. A reader with a spilling bookshelf, she’s always on the look for spaces and time for a little solitary quietude. In March 2021, her debut collection of poetry, Chaotic Cosmos Volume 1, was published by Olympia Publishers, London.

Featured Image: Ammar Sapatwala/Unsplash