There is a thirst in me,
some insatiable quest to touch you.
No, not to feel the pores of your skin,
or to see what’s beneath your linen dress,
I want to see what’s beneath your flesh,
to enter the store room of your life.
I want to touch you,
not by putting my arms around you,
Though I would love to do that too!
I want to touch you,
through my stammering words, my infant commas, my half-baked semicolons, and my innocent grammatical errors.
I want to touch you,
like I’m planting a kiss on your forehead through my handpicked phrases, trust me, they are juicer than my lips.
I…
I want to write the truest sentence I’ll ever know,
to tell you, we all have the same sob story,
and the jokes that make us grin are also not very different,
They have streamlined our aspirations; our career ladders are cut from the same wood.
I want to touch you,
Like a poetic sentence, you will underline with your marker,
I want to add colour to your black and white night.
I want to touch you,
Like the last chapter of the book,
I want to be with you, even when I’m not.
I want to be an idea taking birth in your womb.
I want to touch you,
Like it’s the first time,
Like it’s the last time,
Like it’s the only time,
I want to secure a place in your must-read book list,
and stick its paper cut-out on my wall; after all, I know you will change the winner’s list every year.
I want to touch you,
Like words of fire that make you feel things,
which brings a revolution, which compels the king to ban it, bonfire it, and bury it.
I want to be the page, on which your teardrops fall,
I want to touch you,
Like the novel resting on your bedside, or in your arms, or in your lap, or on your chest,
I want to leave you with some answers, more questions and a little blush on your cheeks,
I want to touch you,
Like a book with sequels,
Even when it ends,
You hope for the next one, the last one.
I want to touch you like the book
which gives you that sort of hope.
I want to touch you,
like they don’t touch anymore.
Janvi Sonaiya is a journalist based in Gujarat. She writes on taxation, politics and social issues.
Featured image: Jackson David / Unsplash