It took me this long
To understand the web of lies you created
And yet I find myself
Struggling in this coil of manipulation
You masterfully laid out.
What started as a hot summer’s hot affair
On one lazy afternoon
When neither of us knew what the next second would mean for us
Crashing into each others’ lips in synchronised perfection
It seemed scripted and sudden at the same time
As we both sang our soul’s desires out loud,
Writhing bodies, glistening sweat
Whispers of appreciation
Wrapping around my ears.
And now I stand here
At the corner point,
Patiently waiting everyday
To finally have the heart to tell you
What an awful man you have been.
But something keeps gripping me away from letting it out
Maybe I love to live the history
When he treated me like a queen
But now decided to rob and put me in the penury of misery
What started so sweet became the most intoxicating poison
A shameless man’s incessant desires
Ruining me and leaving me feeling unkempt
Every day, I battle with this misery
While I put a fake smile and enjoy with the world
While his chauvinistic mind levitates smelling flower to flower everyday.
I bled in the longing misery
The unhappiest I had ever been
Take me back to the time
When I was alone, not worrisome
Where men in my fantasies were more heroic
Than these stoic nuisances loitering around me.
As I lay there
Wrestling with the anxiety
Of my naked curves dripping in bliss
I can sense the ominous howls of the night
Everything and everyone warning me in hindsight
I crept, with twisted hair
Back to my shelter
As I grappled with my blanket and finished the night
With what will now be wounds of my innocence inflicting my memory
Till I decide to look back to this time
In grateful maturity.
Avnika Chhikara is 22-year-old poet pursuing her MBA.