It has been so long that I forgot how I felt.
My body doesn’t feel like it belongs to me anymore.
I can sense that my emotions are their own beings.
I feel weak
My control is slipping
My body is numb
And I don’t know if I am thinking too much or not at all.
I feel fake
My stress feels unreal
My emotions are running away from me.
I don’t know if I have too many thoughts or none at all.
I can’t find myself
I don’t have a fingerprint
I don’t have an identity
I have a restless chameleon soul running away from home.
My heart is complaining as my mind is lost in an experience of its own
I don’t know how a numb body can shake or shiver
So I can’t conclude
What am I – real or not.
Gayathri Mupparapu, 21, is a history and literature student at Amity University, Mumbai.
Featured image: Joshua Fuller/Unsplash