Growing Trees Without Roots

And then we returned home after the funeral, hoping to see the roots of our family one more time. The moment we felt a monumental transition in our lives and got hit by a wave of nostalgia, we realised that the roots of our family – our parents – have left us, and the trees are left behind to grow by themselves.

The dark cloud of sadness and despair still hangs over me as I try to shake my head and rid myself of melancholy feelings and push myself to experience joy in every moment. I wish to keep sadness away and experience joy in everything that the future holds for me. Keeping the nihilism at bay and sustaining the situation, my mind decided to build hope and inspiration in my parents’ honour. That’s exactly what everyone does, right? After our loved ones pass away, we try to live in a way that would make them proud. Isn’t it a way to keep the spark of hope and optimism alive within us?

I started using my life to celebrate my parents’ life.

The COVID-19 pandemic seemed like an out-of-syllabus year in our lives. While a large percentage of the population was busy learning new skills and wrapping their head around the new ‘virtual’ world, many were mourning the loss of their loved ones. Amidst all the chaos and melee, the worst affected were the young kids who lost the roots of their family – both their parents – to COVID-19.

Also read: Dealing With Loss During the Pandemic

Being the ‘surviving’ child is difficult and challenging. However, one should always start living in the hope of making their parents proud. Construct a narrative in your mind which portrays a life that your parents would love to celebrate and not the one where your parents find you sitting in the corner of a dark room with your head thrown in your hands and swollen eyes turning red with each tear that rolls down your cheek.

Whether you realise it or not, these narratives produce a potential for growth and salvation in the future and give you ways to navigate your life. Day after day, week after week, and month after month, you will not believe how your mind made you stand strong and bold in front of the crowd once again.

If you are someone who is taking care of someone who has suffered the loss of their parents, remain available for them. Try to pay attention to their meals and give them time and space to express their emotions. A young adult might not be comfortable in expressing his emotion in front of everyone.

Don’t get the wrong idea, but you will not realise when the tree stood tall and steady, once again. Because even though the roots were physically absent, they were spiritually present at the end of every road you took.

No matter which route my parents’ soul chooses to chase, they will find their way back to the porch. Their shadow will protect me when the sharp sun rays hit my eyes.

*On March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a global pandemic. Today marks the second anniversary.

Nishtha Dixit. I’m a 20-year-old student pursuing a B.A. (Hons) in English from the University of Delhi. I’ve been interning as a content editor with a publishing house in London. My hobbies include reading and writing. I also have my blog called ‘The Apprehensive Words’, where I write about alarming issues in our society.

Featured image: Pixabay